When I see you I don’t even want to open my mouth. For what? You don’t care anyway. We live next to each other. Each goes his own way. Tell me what do you know about me? Hush…
You’re taking me nowhere. I’m standing all like that, torn to pieces, and don’t know what to do. Should I move on? You look at me with empty eyesight. You freeze my heart. Day by day. There’s not much warmth for you anymore. You have missed another chance from me. And I am getting cold and cynical. I am a cynic! I do not have power to try to make all of this up. Again. For what? You won’t help me anymore.
You used to be all of my happiness, today you are (all of my) unhappiness. Two bodies in one bed like planks of wood. And a cat between purrs a sad lullaby for (not)good night. I’m pretending that I sleep, you’re pretending it doesn’t bother you. Where did that love get us? I even do not want to argue with you anymore because I don’t want to waste my energy for all of this. I would have just thrown a plate at you if you said a couple words too much. Today I just keep quite. There’s no me for anybody. You anaesthetised me . For good.
You come back late from work and want to make a love. Like we used to. You are acting like a happy partner of a wonderful woman.
And you bought two tickets to this concert which I really wanted to go to (and you said you won’t take me cause this music is trivial). And spend more time at home with me (next to me) and you don’t fight (at all). Smiling to me from the window when I’m heading back from work. Giving flowers for no occasion. Because I don’t need any explanation. I’ll forgive you as always because it’s only you I want, only you I trust…
But I don’t feel you understand me anymore.
This is not what I want.